i can't turn it into art

"i've been having this anger inside of me the last three months. i don't know where it comes from exactly, but it has to do with patterns in my life that keep repeating themselves, plans that don't work out, the reality of things, money, stupidity (my own and others), boredom, frustration, jealousy, mistakes, misunderstandings. i've been trying to write about it here but i haven't been able to finish the sentences. i can't turn it into art.

but it's a feeling at least, it makes me do things, it helps me get up in the morning. if it wasn't because of this anger and also if it wasn't for a certain slice of rhubarb pie one early morning in chicago, i wouldn't have made it all the way here. i could tell you more about the rhubarb pie, but this time it's non of your business.

anyways, touring all spring was the worst idea i've ever been talked into. i think it was joe franklin who once said that the most important thing in showbusiness is sincerity and learning how to fake it. but i just can't pull it off. i just can't glue that fake smile to my face and go out there, it makes me feel like a fraud. I've really been struggling with tricking myself into being excited for every show.

i do have one show coming up that i'm excited about however. i'm very happy to announce that my last show this year will be at hammarkulle karnevalen. it will be a special show to me and i couldn't think of a better way to wrap it up then to come home to a sweet summernight on hammer hill with tammy banging the bongos and a very special guest on vocals.

throw some coal on the barbecue, i'm coming home."

och jens, sådär är det för mig också. jag kan inte göra det här till konst. men det är någonting, åtminstone, om än någonting irriterande.

see you at hammer hill.